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![Streets of Blood]()
Streets of Blood (2009)
IMDB rating: 0.00
Plot: A police officer’s partner has died during Hurricane Katrina, but he later discovers that his partner may have been murdered. An investigation follows, taking the officer and his new partner into the depths of the criminal underworld.
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i download here online Streets of Blood and download
Directors: Winkler Charles
Actors: Kilmer Val,50 Cent,Andriole David,Biehn Michael,Browne Edrick,Byrnes Michael,Cantillo Jose Pablo,Chertkoev Gocha,Cummings Kip,Dainty Jon,Dos Santos Dino,Ferguson Ted,Foppe Zacharias,Granstaff Brett,Action,Drama,Drama,Thriller,
can u please read my story and see what you think but please no nasty comments?
I walked in the doors as quietly as possible. I had been over at my friends house and I was 2 hours late. I shut the door and crept up the stairs. Now the the difficult part. my door was the squeakiest doors on earth. I could always sleep downstairs on the sofa but I would end up sleeping for too long and my mum would catch me and that wasn’t a risk worth taking and my dad would still have been up but I didn’t hear the television on.
Then i realised i was in the wrong house everything was wrong. How did i not notice I wasn’t in my own house, it isn’t hard. The walls were crimson red and white carpet that looked like it hadn’t been cleaned for months. There was a small table with a piece of paper on it. I picked it up. It was a list of names wrote in red pen, most of them were scored out but there were three names left. Emma, Loraine and my name, Paige.
I ran down the stairs, but stopped halfway down, to seeHoodeded man. I couldn’t see his face but I could tell from his posture that he would be a teenager and probably in a gang. That was when he pulled out a knife from his pocket. I ran back up the stairs. I ran into the room that would have been my room if it my own house, this room was light blue, with blood stains on the wall and a dark blue carpet. I ran to the window. The door was flung open and there he was again. Fear wrapped itself around me. My hands were shaking and tiny beads of sweat trickled down my forehead. I was so trappeundeterrededd. I ran up to him and kicked him in the stomach, he let out a squeal of pain, I ran down the stairs and out of the front door that was still wide open.
I ran down the empty street, I had no idea where I was going I just ran. I turned the corner and realised where I was, I kept on running until eventually i was outside my house. The living room light was still on and i my mum peeked out the window with a worried face. Then, she saw me.
plz dont comment if all ur gonna say is i forget capital letters or punctuation or spelling i have notice a few myself and already change it
i’m only 14 so dont expect it to be amazing
what i meant by no nasty comment is that some people say nasty things just for the sake of it
i dont mind constructive critism (sorry i’m not that good at spelling)
I recommend finding some writers sites. This page has links to writers communities. http://sites.google.com/site/allusionsan ddreams/home/resources-1
Allusionary | Feb 09, 2010
It seems pretty interesting but its a little too direct. You also used "i" alot. good job btw
Dylan T | Feb 09, 2010
Very good, actually- are you going to write more? You should post it. Good luck!
Maddie | Feb 09, 2010
Not meaning to be mean but, this doesn’t sound true.
1. How did you get into the house if it wasn’t yours?
2. Be careful because you might be the next rape victim
Chandler | Feb 09, 2010
very good but a bit more description and passion in there to give the reader the felling of tenseness as you stood there looking at the youth.
but over all 7/10
STEVIE G | Feb 09, 2010
I quite like it and other than a few bits I thought it was really good. if you want more opinions, try the young writers forum. I’m 14 too and i used this and found it really help full. It’s for 13-21 year olds to post there work and to read and review others. Hope this helps and good luck with the writing! x
xxxsilver wingsxxx | Feb 09, 2010
Hi I think you have done well since you are only 14 I am intrigued to find out who this guy was.
My only problem was you missed out some words in places
"my door was the squeakiest doors on earth" would be "My door was one of the squeakiest doors on earth." or "my door was the squeakiest door on earth."
Apart from little things like that you have done well. Keep writing!
rox and ruby rock ! 
| Feb 09, 2010
So all you want is people telling you how good your writing is? No bad comments? How do you plan on improving if you think that everything you write is wonderful? Posting things here, you run the risk of getting some wicked nasty comments.
To avoid those comments, ask if there is anything that should be improved in the paragraphs. There are tons of people here who want to help others improve, but when you want a comment, then anyone will post. Most of them have no idea what they are talking about. The first comment will attract authors and writers. The second one will attract sharks that only want to chew you up.
Get some practice, and keep writing. Read a lot.
The hardest part of writing is to show not tell. Seems like you are telling a awful lot in your story. Get onto some writing web sites and they will explain everything you need to know.
Good luck
El Hombre de los Libros | Feb 09, 2010
I think that this is a truly amazing paragraph and for 14 i think you are exceptionally talented! I hope this helps
Jamiee | Feb 09, 2010
I walked in the door as quietly as possible, shut the door and crept up the stairs. Now for the difficult part– I had the squeakiest door on earth. I could always sleep downstairs on the sofa, but I would just end up sleeping for too long and my mum would catch me. And that wasn’t a risk worth taking. "and my dad would still have been up but I didn’t hear the television on."<– any way you can change this? doesn’t fit
At this point i realized i was in the wrong house. Everything was wrong. How did i not notice I wasn’t in my own house? "It isn’t hard; the walls were crimson red and white carpet that looked like it hadn’t been cleaned for months." what is the reader supposed to get out of this? There was a small table with a piece of paper on it. I picked it up. It was a list of names wrote in red pen, most had been crossed, out but there were three names left: Emma, Loraine and my name, Paige.
I ran down the stairs, but stopped halfway man. "to seeHoodeded man."<– no idea what ur getting at here I couldn’t see his face but I could tell from his posture that he was a teenager, and probably in a gang. That was when he pulled a knife from his pocket. I ran back up the stairs. I ran into the room that would have been mine if it my own house. This room was light blue, with blood stains on the wall and a dark blue carpet. I ran to the window. The door was flung open and there he was again. "Fear wrapped itself around me."<–good that you’re attempting a creative approach, but any other way you could manage? My hands were shaking and tiny beads of sweat trickled down my forehead. I was so trappeundeterrededd … ? I ran up to him and kicked him in the stomach at which he let out a squeal of pain. I ran down the stairs and out of the wide open front door.
I ran down the empty street with no idea where I was going. I turned the corner and realized where I was. I kept on running until eventually i was outside my house. The living room light was still on and my mum peeked out the window with a worried face. She saw me.
I don’t know if this will help. I mean no disrespect, but an editor reads only about a thousand word of any given manuscript. You have that long to catch his/her attention and hold it with your ability with prose.
you have talent, I just want to help you reach the title of best-selling author
From Black to Metal | Feb 09, 2010